


My Everything

by donniexdarko



Category: Southpaw (2015)
Genre: F/M, Jake Gyllenhaal - Freeform, rachel mcadams - Freeform, southpaw - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 08:50:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10486941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donniexdarko/pseuds/donniexdarko
Summary: Told in 3 parts, this is Billy & Maureen's story from when they were both young orphans living in foster care, to having Leila when they were young adults, to the tragic death of Maureen in Southpaw. (18+ readers only for graphic sex and some graphic violence.)





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been on my mind for quite some time now. I ship Billy & Maureen from Southpaw so hard and I've always wanted to write their story, before we see them in Southpaw. I have spent the last couple of days writing and re-writing and editing these three parts, so I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Here is Billy & Maureen's story before we meet them in Southpaw:

**Prologue** : **October 1988. Billy is 8, Maureen is 7.**

**Billy’s POV**

  
It's cold outside again, reminding me that it's early Fall. I've officially been here for three years now, in this foster care system. I turned eight years old a couple months ago, but I still haven’t made any friends. Most of the time I end up sitting alone, thinking about my parents and how much I miss them. Recently I’ve noticed a girl with ratty blonde hair, with holes in her clothes. She stares at me from across the cafeteria all the time, and she's kind of a loner, like me. She has a wide gap between her two front teeth and big marble-sized hazel eyes.

I admire her for weeks from afar, never quite gaining the courage to get up and talk to her. Every time I walk past her, my palms get sweaty and my heart beats faster.  

Then one day, I look for her in the cafeteria, and she isn’t there. I wonder what happened to her, and I ask the other kids and they say they don’t know. I think maybe she got adopted or ran away. I spend the next couple of years wondering about her.

* * *

 

 

 **PART ONE** : **Summer of 1996. Billy is 16, Maureen is 15.**

**Billy’s POV**

Just another bull shit day in bull shit Brooklyn, New York in the foster care system. Whoever said it gets easier after time is full of shit. I’ve been in this god damn place for over ten years now, and just thinking about that makes me sick. A life wasted because my parents died young and left me behind with no one to take care of me. I still haven’t made any friends in this place, besides Jon Jon but he’s forced to share a room with me so he doesn’t really have a choice. Apparently, I have “ _anger management issues”_ and the other kids don’t like to hang around me because I have a temper. They started putting me through bull shit therapy sessions, talking to a therapist about all the ways I can “ _control my anger_ ”. I think it’s all bull shit and I honestly don’t think I have a problem. My life isn’t exactly a fairy tale and I think I have the right to be pissed off at the world if I want to be.

I’m contemplating all the ways to kill myself (I’ve been doing that a lot lately) when I see her again. The girl with the ratty hair, sitting across the cafeteria once again. I blink a few times, not sure if I’m dreaming. Maybe this place really is making me lose my sanity. But after several minutes of staring, I realize it _really_ is her. She’s sitting in the same spot she used to, by the big window and picking at her food, the same way I am.

She no longer has ratty hair, but now it looks soft, and curly as it cascades around her shoulders. She looks up at me, and her hazel eyes tear right through me. Her face is pale and her lips are naturally pink, and I notice the same beauty mark on her lower chin. Her nails are painted black and her dirty blonde hair falls in her eyes as she looks away shyly.

I pick up my tray and walk over to her table, sitting across from her. She finally looks up at me. “Hi,” I say, awkwardly.

“Hi,” she replies, smiling a little.

“I’m Billy,” I say.

“It took you long enough to come talk to me,” she says, confidently.

I bite my lip, not expecting this from her. Up close, I take in her sheer beauty. This girl just radiates beauty and confidence and she’s not the little girl I remember. She’s fucking beautiful.

“I’m Maureen,” she says, reaching her hand out to shake mine. I take her warm hand in mine, and it feels like being plugged into the solar system. The act of physically touching someone (not in a sexual way but just human contact) is something I haven’t had much of in my life. I think she feels the same thing because she squeezes my hand back and smirks.

“Where have you been? I’ve been wondering about you for a really long time,” I ask.

“I was transferred to another building, but I got in a fight with one of the girls and they sent me back here,” she says, scrunching her nose. I smirk, and raise my eyebrows, admiring the fact that she also has anger issues like I do.

And that’s where it all began.

* * *

 

  **BILLY'S POV**

The next night, I’m lying in my twin sized bed, and Jon Jon is snoring softly on his side of the room. I can’t stop thinking about Maureen. I finally put a name to that gorgeous face. Just as I’m starting to fall asleep, I hear our door creak open and close quickly. I’m used to the caretakers checking in on us from time to time, but I look up anyway and see Maureen tiptoeing across the carpeted floors.

“Maureen?” I whisper, confused.

“Hey Billy,” she says, crawling onto the side of my narrow bed.

“What are you doing here? You’re going to get us both in trouble,” I say.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she says, looking up at me. Even in the darkness, I can see red puffiness around her eyes, like she’s been crying.

“Okay,” I say, pulling up the sheets so she can slide under them. I wrap my arms around her and pull her close against me. There’s barely enough room in this bed for me, let alone another person, but her body pressed up against mine is possibly the most intimate thing I’ve ever felt in my life.

“Billy… do you ever miss you parents?” she asks randomly, and I feel my heart constrict at the thought of them.

“Of course, all the time actually” I admit. I don’t talk about them very often.

“How old were you when they died?” she asks.

“I was five,” I say.

“What were they like?” she asks.

“My Mom was a school teacher; her name was Rose and she was a beautiful person. My Dad’s name was Gunner, and he didn’t really have a job. He sold drugs or something, I’m not sure. I don’t remember much,” I say. She looks up at me with curious eyes, like she’s trying to figure me out. “What about you?” I ask.

“My Mom died when I was four. My Mother’s name was Leila. She was a painter and a free spirit and a lover of life, and my Dad was never in the picture. I don’t think she ever actually knew who my Dad was. But she was strong and independent and she didn’t need him. She didn’t need anyone,” she says.

“She sounds lovely,” I say.

“She was. She was so beautiful and strong. I want to be like her,” she says.

I don’t know her well enough to tell her that I think she’s really fucking beautiful, and I can already tell she’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. We speak in hushed voices for a few more hours before she slips out of my bed as the sun rises and disappears into her room.

 

* * *

 

**Maureen’s POV**

The next few weeks carry on a familiar routine. I sneak into Billy’s room late in the night, when everyone else is fast asleep. He wraps his warm body around mine and for a few hours I forget about the atrocity that is my life. We whisper secrets in the dark, as his arm cradles my head and for the first time in my life I feel like I’ve made a real friend.

He rarely ever talks about his parents again, I don’t think it’s something he enjoys talking about. He does tell me that he wishes he could have had a sibling. Someone to go through all of this with. I wish the same thing. Maybe this would’ve been easier, growing up in the system if we had a sibling to share it with. I tell him how I wanted to be a painter like my Mom until I realized I’m freaking terrible at painting. He laughs softly in my ear and shares that he wanted to be an astronaut, and see the world from outer space until he heard that you can suffocate in your space suit and the idea of it scared the shit out of him.  

We talk about the future and he admits he has no idea what he will do in two years when he turns eighteen. He talks about possibly joining the military because he doesn’t think he’d be good at anything else. I think he’s wrong. I think he can do anything.

I stay with Billy until he falls asleep that night, his steady breath fanning across my neck. I’ve mesmerized the shallow rise and fall of his chest as he breathes, and I caress the soft skin on his cheeks.

Earlier today, Billy said that he hates that his last name is Hope, and he thinks it’s ironic because he doesn’t have any. But I think he’s the closest thing to hope I’ve felt in a long time.

 

* * *

 

  

**Billy’s POV**

Maureen has made it a habit to sneak into my room every night. We’ve been lucky, we haven’t been caught yet. Jon Jon is fast asleep every night, that fucker could sleep through a hurricane, I swear.

Maureen sneaks in, and snuggles in next to me, like she normally does. I feel her rapid, humming bird heart beat against my chest. I look down into her eyes and there’s something there that worries me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.    

“This boy, Michael. You know, the one with the red hair and the glasses?” she asks and I nod my head, waiting. “I was walking out of the bathroom and he grabbed me, and he said I was a cock tease for dressing the way I do. But there’s nothing wrong with the way I dress…”

“What do you mean he grabbed you? What did he do to you” I ask.

“Billy… he touched me. In places, I’ve never been touched,” she says. My vision is blurry with the rage I feel pounding inside my chest. I stare at her for a few seconds before I jerk out of bed, wanting to find this fucker right now and make him pay.

“Billy stop,” she whisper-shouts, grabbing my arm before I sit up, holding me in place.

“He’s not getting away with this,” I say. I can feel my heart pounding so hard in my chest. I didn’t know it was possible for me to feel this upset. If I thought I had anger issues before, that was nothing compared to the rage I feel right now.

“Not right now,” she says, stroking my arm. The feeling of her fingertips dragging slowly across the back of my arm stops me. Goosebumps spread across the back of my arms, and I feel a stirring in my pants.

“Maureen,” I say, pleading. “He can’t do that to you and get away with it.”

“I said not right now,” she says, pulling me back into bed. “You can deal with him however you want tomorrow,” she whispers in my ear, and her warm breath fanning across my ear is like a shot of ecstasy straight to my cock.

I nod my head and take deep breaths to try and calm myself down in more ways than one. I lay back down in the bed and she traces her fingers across my chest, drawing circles over my t-shirt. I think about baseball statistics and old ladies and anything to make my erection go away, and hope she doesn’t notice.

The next morning, I follow Michael into the boy’s bathroom and beat the shit out of him. I tell him if he ever tells any of the caretakers about this, then I would tell them what he did to Maureen. I tell him if he ever even so much as looks at Maureen again I will fucking kill him. My fists are swollen red and they hurt like a bitch, but I have never felt more alive in my life.

 

* * *

 

 

**Maureen’s POV**

Billy’s knuckles are swollen and bruised and I bring them to my lips and press softly, kissing his skin. He stares back at me as we lay in his narrow twin bed, with so much desire and want flowing through his arctic blue eyes. I adore the fact the he wants to protect me. Nobody in my life has ever protected me the way Billy did today. My heart swells in my chest as I look up at him, and he lowers his lips and kisses me softly on the forehead.

“Thank you for what you did today,” I whisper, his lips mere inches away from mine.

“I enjoyed it more than I care to admit,” he whispers back.

“You’re my knight in shining armor,” I say.

He smiles, before whispering: “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

“Me neither,” I admit.

He gently reaches for my chin and tilts my head backwards, kissing me softly on the mouth. He swipes his tongue across my bottom lip and I open my mouth, allowing his tongue to push inside my mouth. I run my fingers through the short, buzzed hair on the back of his neck and he lifts his body weight so he’s hovering above me. His lips are soft and his mouth is warm and I’m overwhelmed by so many sensations. My skin feels like it’s tingling as he works his mouth against mine, barely coming up for air.

He kisses me with so much passion and need, like nothing I’ve ever felt before in my life. He supports all his weight on his hands and only allows his chest and hips to brush against me lightly. His tongue dances with mine and he changes the angle of his head, kissing me deeper. I suck his bottom lip into my mouth and he lets out a low, raspy sound. In between us, I feel his erection pushing against my thigh and he pulls his mouth away from mine and trails his lips to my neck.

“Fuck, Maureen,” he whispers and I giggle softly.

“That was the greatest first kiss of all time,” I say.

 

* * *

 

**Fall 1996**

**Billy’s POV**

I’m in love with Maureen. She’s all I ever think about. She’s the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve always thought the story of my life was a tragedy, but now I think she is only the beginning of my story.

I want to show her how much I love her. I want to make love to her, but I am scared and nervous and I know she’s scared and nervous.  

Then, one night Jon Jon comes down with the flu and the caretakers don’t want me to get exposed, so they move him out of my room and into a room where they can keep an eye on him. I’ll be alone all night. It’s the perfect opportunity.

Maureen sneaks into my room that night, just after midnight and I tell her about Jon Jon, and she gets this look in her eyes like she knows what I’m suggesting. She looks excited and nervous too.

She rolls on her back and my mouth is on hers before her head hits the pillow. I gently caress her cheeks as my tongue sweeps across her lips, and then she pushes her tongue into my mouth. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life.

She pulls her mouth away from mine and lifts her shirt up and over her head, and I take mine off as well. Her bare fingertips slide up and down my abs and my body tingles with desire. She slides off her pants and she’s only in her bra and panties. I’m trying to keep my cool, but I can already feel my cock swelling up against the fabric of my pants.

She unclips her bra and her boobs spill out and my mouth goes dry. “Touch me, Billy,” she says, pulling my hand onto her chest. My breath catches in my throat as I run my fingers over the softness of her chest. Her nipples harden at my touch and before I overthink it, I lower my head and swirl my tongue over her nipple and she gasps, arching her back against my mouth. Her skin is so soft and warm, I want to explore every inch of her body.

Feeling slightly more confident, I glide my hand to her hips and slide off her panties. She stares up at me with all these insecurities in her eyes. “God, Maureen, you’re so fucking beautiful,” I say and she smiles.

I slide my hand in between her legs and feel that her upper thighs are slippery with wetness. “Wow, you really want this,” I tease, amazed.

She laughs before she glances down at my obvious erection. “I think you want this even more than I do.”

“I do,” I say, and slide my fingers against her wet core. She inhales sharply as my fingers find her entrance, and I push a finger inside her.

“Oh,” she moans, getting used to the sensation. I find a rhythm, and slowly pump my finger in and out of her, before adding a second finger. “Yes, Billy,” she coos in my ear.

I flex my fingers inside of her as much as I can and pick up the speed, my fingers sliding in and out of her as fast as I can manage, stretching her wider. “Oh fuck,” she cries, her fingernails digging into my back. “Fuck me, Billy,” she moans.

I slow my fingers down and look at her, raising my eyebrows. “Come on baby, fuck me,” she says and my cock grows so hard it’s painful.

She helps me with my pants, pushing them down over my hips along with my boxers. My cock springs free and I sigh in relief and she bites her lip when she looks down at it. I’m flooded with anxiety knowing she is the first girl to ever see me naked. After a moment of insecurity, she reaches in between us and strokes my cock and my world tilts sideways. I almost come in her hand. She pulls from the base and then she brushes her fingertips across my swollen head and my thighs tremble and my hips thrust forward. “Fuck, Mo,” I whimper.

“I’m ready,” she says, pulling the head of my cock towards her entrance.

“Are you sure baby?” I ask. “It’s probably going to hurt.”

“I know, but I want you to. I love you,” she says, whispering the last part. As if tonight couldn’t be any more incredible.

The first thrust is gentle as our bodies get used to the feeling. She whimpers and tells me to keep going; I’m afraid I’m hurting her but she promises she’s okay.

My heart is filled with a different kind of pleasure. I move my hips cautiously, as I take her virginity and she takes mine. She’s incredibly tight, it’s better than anything I could’ve possibly imagined. She’s incredibly soft in all the places I’m hard and it makes me feel whole. Like I’ve found my other half. The missing puzzle piece.

 

* * *

 

  

**Winter 1996**

**Maureen’s POV**

The halls are less crowded with staff around the holidays. Most of the caretakers just want to be home with their families, so it’s easier to sneak around at this time of year. Billy says he has a crazy idea, and I love the idea of being spontaneous with him. That night we sneak out of the foster care building together for the first time. He holds my hand as we walk into town, and into a tattoo parlor.

He knows one of the employees, and says it’s a guy he used to room with in foster care. The guy tells us we can get whatever we want, he’d be happy to tattoo us.

I look at Billy like he’s crazy but he convinces me, eventually. He asks me: “How do I make you feel baby?”

“Like I’m flying,” I say, without hesitation.

We hold hands while we get matching bird tattoos just behind our ears.

The birds have their wings spread, taking flight. Just like we are.

 

* * *

 

 

**SUMMER 1997: Billy is 17, Maureen is 16**

**Billy’s POV**

Maureen sneaks into my room, and snuggles into my arms. Earlier this morning, they cleared out Jon Jon’s side of the room. He turned eighteen last week, and is officially an adult, getting sent off into the real world. I have a little less than a year before they do the same to me. I’m excited but terrified. This place is all I know.

The left side of my room is vacant, and will be until they find someone to take his place. Which means Maureen and I will have the room to ourselves for a while.

Maureen has a playful look in her eyes and I ask her what’s up.

“Well, Claire was able to sneak in some weed,” she says, pulling a joint and a lighter out of her pocket.

“Whoa, what?” I ask, shocked. “How?”

“I don’t know… Have you ever smoked weed before Billy?” she asks.

“No… Have you?” I ask and she shakes her head.

“Do you want to?” she asks.

“Yeah, fuck it,” I say, and she lights one end of the joint. She inhales deeply, before coughing loudly. I laugh at her and tease her and she hands it to me.

“Let’s see how you handle it tough guy,” she teases and I inhale deeply, before erupting in a fit of coughs even worse than she did.

Maureen tosses her head back and laughs and my eyes water from the coughing.

We pass it back and forth a few more times, getting used to it finally, and I feel fucking great. I’ve never been high before and I feel like I’m floating on a cloud. Sort of the way I feel around Maureen, but intensified.

She pushes me down on my back and kisses me fiercely. I rock my hips against her and she peels her shirt off her skin, revealing her bright pink bra. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as beautiful as her. Her blonde hair swirls around her shoulders, and she smiles widely at me. I reach for her cheek, and as I do she takes one of my fingers into her mouth and sucks on it. I gasp and she raises her eyebrows at me and moans around my finger. My skin is burning with desire and my cock is painfully hard against her thigh.     

We get high, we make love, and we (unknowingly) make a baby.

 

* * *

 

 

**Maureen’s POV**

I’ve missed my period two months in a row and I’m starting to get nervous. I threw up this morning and I feel like shit but I thought I just ate something bad. Realization hits me like a train: I must be fucking _pregnant_. I feel queasy and panicked and I don’t know what to do. I’m only sixteen years old, this was never the plan. I’m afraid the caretakers will kick me out of this place.

My mind is racing when I sneak into Billy’s room that night. He knows me well enough to know when something’s wrong, so there’s no point trying to hide it from him.

“Mo, what’s wrong?” he asks, concern flaring in those gorgeous blue eyes of his. I adore the nick name he’s given me.

“Baby…” I start, trying to find the courage to tell him. “I think I’m pregnant,” I say, and it’s like the world stops spinning.

“What?” his expression is of complete and total shock.   

“I’ve missed my period two months in a row and I got sick this morning and my chest feels sore all the time,” I say, pressing my fingers against my forehead in sheer panic.

“Fuck, did you take a test?” he asks.

“No I didn’t take a fucking test, where would I get a pregnancy test? I certainly can’t ask one of the caretakers for one. They would be pissed if they found out we were having sex,” I say, raising my voice at him.

“But if you’re actually pregnant, they’re going to find out, eventually right?” he asks.

“I guess so,” I say, biting my lip in thought. I close my eyes and inhale deeply, trying not to cry.

When I look back up at Billy, his eyes are glassy with tears and he is smiling so widely, I didn’t even know his face could stretch that wide. “What?” I ask.

“We’re having a baby,” he whispers, his voice cracking. “I love you and I know this is unexpected, but I think this is going to be the greatest thing that ever happens to us.”

“I’m glad you’re so sure, I’m freaking out over here,” I say, and he brushes his fingers against my cheek and brings my face close to his.

“I love you, and I already love this baby and that’s all that matters. We’ll make it work. It’s you and me and this baby against the world.”

I smile and admire his confidence. Maybe he’s right. Maybe this baby will save us from ourselves. From our tragic childhood. We could give this baby a better life than we had. Maybe, Billy and I aren’t just another sad story after all.


	2. The Middle

**PART TWO** : **JANUARY 1998. Billy is 18, Maureen is 17.**

**Billy’s POV**

  
The day has finally come. I celebrated my eighteenth birthday last night, and I’m packing my things. Maureen is five and a half months pregnant, and she can barely hide it from the caretakers anymore. We’re both certain that they’re going to kick her out when they find out.

The afternoon plays out like a nightmare. Chaos erupts in the building when the caretakers discover Maureen is pregnant. I’m leaving the next day, with nowhere to go and no idea what I’m doing. They look at me like I’m a monster and they consider calling the police, since Maureen is technically still a minor. I think they’re all bat shit insane and Maureen and I make plans to sneak out late tonight, and leave this place once and for all. We pack our few belongings in backpacks and climb out the windows, making a run for it. It really is us against the world.

I track down Jon Jon, and he’s living in a tiny apartment in the city. He says we can sleep on his couch until we figure out what we’re going to do. When he notices that Maureen is pregnant, he offers his bed to her and she politely declines.

“The couch will be fine, but thank you. You’ve done more than enough for us already, really. We are so grateful,” she says, smiling at him.

“Billy is a good friend of mine. I’m happy to help,” he says, and goes to his bedroom for the night.

I start to set up the pull-out couch and make the bed, and Maureen watches me curiously. “What?” I ask.

“We’re really doing this,” she says, taking a shaky breath. “I can’t believe we actually left… That place sucked so badly but it’s also the only home I’ve ever known,” she says, rubbing her belly subconsciously while she talks, concern wrinkling her forehead.

“Baby, come here,” I say, walking to where she’s standing and pulling her into my arms, her head resting against my shoulder. “Home isn’t a necessarily a place. Sometimes home is a person, and you are my home now. This is the next chapter. The beginning of our life together. The hard part is over now,” I persuade her.

She nods her head, and I kiss her forehead and I promise her that everything is going to be okay.

 

* * *

 

 

**Maureen’s POV**

The hard part was definitely not over. We needed to find jobs and I needed to go to the doctor. Billy starts looking for a job the day after we ran away, searching the city for help-wanted signs. I also start looking for part-time jobs, but I think the chances of someone hiring a seventeen-year-old pregnant girl are slim.

Billy is determined to get hired, and he’s gone all day, every day for a week. He comes home one night with a smile on his face, and I’m desperate to hear good news.

“Jon Jon got me a job,” he exclaims, as soon as he’s within earshot.

“He did? Where?” I ask.

“At the gym,” he says, grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge and then sitting next to me on the couch.

“That’s great baby,” I say.

“We’re going to get through this,” he says, reaching for my hand and kissing it softly.

 

* * *

 

 

**Billy’s POV**

We are nervously sitting in the doctor’s office, waiting to be seen. Maureen is six months pregnant, and we’re excited to finally find out the sex of the baby today.

The doctor calls us back and we settle into the room, Maureen pulls up her sweater and the doctor lathers up her belly with the gel.

The doctor looks at the monitor and says that the baby is healthy and has a strong heartbeat. She asks if we want to know the gender.

Me and Maureen look at each other and nod excitedly.

“You’re having a girl,” she says, and Maureen’s hands fly to her mouth in surprise.

“A girl,” she says, glowing in happiness.

My whole world zeroes in on one thought: I’m having a daughter.

 

* * *

 

 

**Maureen’s POV**

Eight months pregnant is not as exciting as it sounds. My back hurts all the time, my feet are swollen all the time, and my belly has gotten so round I can’t touch my toes. Billy helps me in the shower, shaving my legs as he tells me about how much he loves the gym. He tells me about all the guys who box at the gym, and he says it’s fascinating to watch them fight.

I tell him maybe he should give it a try. Lord knows he has a temper and I think it would be good for him to vent that anger somehow.

He nods his head and says maybe he’ll give it a shot.

 

* * *

 

 

**MAY 1998**

**Billy’s POV**

Our daughter is born on May 1st, 1998 at three in the morning. Maureen had been in the hospital for over forty-eight hours and she was beyond ecstatic when they finally said she was ready to deliver.

Our daughter is born at seven pounds and three ounces, and Maureen cries as she holds in her arms for the first time. Tears well up in my eyes as I look at the two girls who are the center of my universe.

We decide to name her Leila Rose Hope, to honor our mothers.

 

* * *

 

 

**Maureen’s POV**

The first few nights are brutal. Billy and I are just two kids trying to figure out how to raise a baby. Jon Jon helps us buy a crib, and Billy tries to put it together as I rock her in my arms. He gets frustrated quickly and starts cursing and pacing back and forth and I lay Leila flat on her back on the bed, and walk over to Billy and calm him down. “It’s okay baby, relax. You’ll figure it out,” I say, resting my palms on his chest. He nods his head and kisses me softly on the lips, then finishes putting the crib together.

Billy and I pull her crib directly up against the pull-out couch we sleep on, afraid to leave her side. She’s so tiny and fragile, I’m scared to let her to leave my sight.

Billy watches over my shoulder as I bathe her for the first time, holding her body in the water and swirling the sponge across her exposed belly. “She’s beautiful,” he whispers into my shoulder. “Just like her Mother.”

I teach Billy how to change a diaper and how to properly hold her bottle when he feeds her. I watch him cradle her in his strong arms, and my chest swells up with so much love for the two of them I’m afraid it will break me. To see Billy, my strong and temperamental Billy, be so gentle with Leila, is incredibly beautiful.

 

* * *

 

 

**Fall 1998. Billy is 18, Maureen is 18.**

**Maureen’s POV**

We celebrate my eighteenth birthday by going out and having a nice dinner. Leila is four months old and getting bigger every day. She’s grown some brown fuzz on the top of her head, and her eyes are big blue marbles, just like her Daddy.

Billy has been going to the gym every single day. He started boxing, just after Leila was born and he says he thinks he’s pretty good at it. He says he really feels alive when he’s throwing punches, and it’s something he thinks he is passionate about. His eyes light up when he talks about it, and I encourage him to pursue it and practice it.

His body is getting harder and stronger, and his biceps are bigger than my head. I’ve noticed it when he’s lying in bed with me, I lay against him and his body feels like it’s made of rock. He even lasts longer in the bedroom; his endurance is insane. His shoulders are wider, and his abs are more chiseled than they’ve ever been. These past few months of boxing and training have made all the difference. Billy is no longer a boy, he’s a man.

 

* * *

 

 

**JANUARY 1999. BILLY IS 19, MAUREEN IN 18.**

**BILLY’S POV**

One of my friends from the gym, Mikey, is becoming a tattoo artist and he says he’d be willing to give me a tattoo for no charge in exchange for some extra practice.

I ask Maureen and she asks me what I would get.

“I was thinking Leila’s name and her birthday in roman numerals across my chest,” I say and she smiles so wide and tears fill her eyes.

“I think that’s a great idea Billy,” she says.

“Yeah?” I ask and she nods her head.

“Leila will love it,” she says. “Her Daddy is very thoughtful.”

I take a couple of shots to calm my nerves and Maureen holds my hand as Mikey tattoos Leila’s name over my heart and her birthday in roman numerals, on the right side of my chest.

 

* * *

 

 

**MAY 2001. BILLY IS 21, MAUREEN IS 20, LEILA IS 2 YEARS OLD.**

**MAUREEN’S POV**

Billy meets Jordan Mains, a successful boxing agent who is looking to sign someone new and young. Billy thinks this might be his big break.

We meet with him and we all instantly click. Jordan has a great sense of humor, and more importantly he see’s something in Billy. He wants to get him fighting professionally and making some serious money. He promises that he’s going to find him a great coach, and get him some professional training, and then he’s going to find a good match for Billy to have his first real fight.

The next few months are insane as Billy begins his training with a professional coach. He’s exhausted at the end of each day, coming home and collapsing on the bed. He tries to spend as much time with Leila as he can, but I promise him I’ve got this. I’m a stay-at-home Mom, mostly because we can’t afford to hire someone to watch Leila, and because I love it. Leila is the greatest joy I’ve ever known. Being a mother is what I feel like I was born to do. And Billy believes he was born to be a boxer.

 

* * *

 

 

**FALL 2001. BILLY IS 21, MAUREEN IS 20, LEILA IS 2 YEARS OLD**

**BILLY’S POV**

I have my first professional fight on October 16th, 2001. One of the most exciting night of my life. I mean, I lose terribly and get knocked out after only eight rounds, but I feel so alive in that ring. I’m hooked from day one. I know in my heart that this is what I was meant do to. This is my purpose in life.

Maureen and I can finally afford to move out of that shitty apartment that we’ve been sharing with Jon Jon all these years. We rent out a new two-bedroom apartment in a nicer part of town, and I feel like we’re finally growing up. I’m finally providing for my family the way I’ve always wanted to.

Maureen brings a bag of ice into the bedroom of our new place, and tiptoes across the hardwood floors, the same way she used to sneak into my room in foster care. She holds the bag of ice against my swollen right eye after a particularly bad fight and I remind her that I’m okay.  

“You have to start winning these fights baby,” she whispers in my ear. “It kills me to see you in pain like this.”

“I’m always going to be in pain after a fight, whether I win or lose,” I say and concern pinches her eyebrows. “I’ll win the next one for you, I promise,” I say, kissing her on the forehead. And I do.

 

* * *

 

 

**SUMMER 2004. BILLY IS 24, MAUREEN IS 23. LEILA IS 5 YEARS OLD.**

**MAUREEN’S POV**

Billy bought us plane tickets to Hawaii. He is finally finding success in boxing and we are making so much more money than before, more money than we know what to do with. He wanted us to take a vacation to somewhere we’ve never been before (not that it would be hard to find a place we’ve never been to, considering neither of us have ever been out of New York). I have never been on an airplane before, and neither has Billy, so we hold hands nervously as the flight takes off. To have the luxury to afford a vacation is something neither of us have experienced in our lives. We even have our nanny, Gloria coming with us so she can watch Leila when we need some alone time. *wink wink* I nervously hold on to Billy’s hand as the plane launches us into the air, launching us into a new world, fifty thousand feet above the clouds.  

We are finally on the beautiful beach in Hawaii, and I watch Billy lift Leila into the air and carry her into the water, while she screams playfully and tries to kick him. I admire the strength in his body, and he looks like more of a man now than he ever has. His body is shredded and ripped, muscles on top of muscles. It’s quite a view. I lay on the beach, trying to get a tan and watching my beautiful family have fun in the waves. I love the new tattoo on Billy’s back: _fear no man_. He got it when he noticed a lot of other boxers have tattoos on their backs and he wanted something that inspired him.

Later that night, after we’ve had dinner and we’re drinking mao-tai’s, Billy asks me to take a walk on the beach with him. Gloria is staying in another hotel room with Leila and she has gone in for the night. We walk on the beach, hand in hand, and my flowery dress flows around my thighs. Billy looks sun-kissed and beautiful, with a pink lei around his neck.

“Can you believe this sunset?” I ask, turning my body towards the ocean, where the sun is setting beautifully in the sky. Swirls of orange and pink fill the sky. He doesn’t respond so I turn around and find him on his knee.

I gasp and my hands fly to my mouth.

“Maureen,” he starts, pulling a tiny black box out of his shorts. “I never told you this, but before I met you I was considering committing suicide. I was actually thinking about doing it that day, until I saw you sitting in that cafeteria again,” he says and I feel like my heart is in my throat. I never knew he wanted to kill himself. “You are my everything, the light at the end of my tunnel. My entire fucking world. Our lives have never been easy, but now we have each other and that’s all that matters. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be. You’re beautiful in every sense of the word, and you’re an incredible Mother to Leila. I want to spend every single day with you for the rest of my life, because a life without you isn’t a life at all,” he says and his voice cracks a little on that last line. “Please, marry me baby.”

“Of course, I’ll marry you,” I shriek, tears streaming down my face. He smiles and slides the gorgeous ring on my finger. “It took you long enough to ask,” I tease.

“That’s what you said to me the first time we ever spoke,” he smiles as he presses his lips against my forehead.

“Yep, you’re marrying a repetitive bitch,” I joke and we both bust up laughing.

“I’m marrying the most beautiful woman in the world,” he says. “And I waited until I could afford you the best ring.”

“It’s perfect baby. You’re perfect.”

We stood there in the light of the glowing sunset, the ring weighing on my finger, thinking we could never be happier than we were in that moment.

 

* * *

 

 

**DECEMBER 2004. BILLY IS 24, MAUREEN IS 23. LEILA IS 5 YEARS OLD.**

**BILLY’S POV**

We got married on a December afternoon in the court house down the street from the foster care building we grew up in. Maureen insisted on a simple wedding, and since neither of us have parents we figured a simple wedding would be the way to go. Jon Jon is my best man and her maid of honor is her old roommate Claire from foster care (the one who got us the weed the night we conceived Leila). Leila is our beautiful little flower girl, wearing a pink ballroom dress and holding a basket of white rose petals.

Maureen wears the most gorgeous white dress with a sweetheart neckline. Her blond hair is tucked neatly into a bun on the back of her head, and her lips are painted red. She looks more beautiful today than she ever has, and my heart feels like it grows ten sizes as we say our vows.

“I promise to love you, through sickness and in health, through all the good days and the bad days. You are the center of my universe,” I vow to her, as tears slip out of her eyes.

She dabs at the tears with her napkin and repeats after me.

“You may now kiss your wife,” the pastor says, and everyone around us claps as I dip Maureen back and kiss her softly on the lips. I love the word _wife_ , it’s my new favorite word.  

We spend the night making love; our bodies fitting together as one. I whisper in her ear that I love her and that marrying her is the single greatest decision I’ve ever made.

On our honeymoon, I tattoo Maureen’s name on the back of my neck. She thinks it’s a terrible idea, and that someday I will regret it, but I promise that I won’t, because she is the only woman I will ever want. Because a life without her isn’t a life at all.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two. I hope you enjoy it. I really do love and adore Billy and Maureen so much. Please leave a comment or a kudos if you read!


	3. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final part.

**PART THREE** : **SUMMER 2005. BILLY IS 25, MAUREEN IS 24, LEILA IS 7**

**Billy’s POV**

I just won my first boxing match of the new season and we’ve had a great day. Maureen crawls onto the mattress with a playful look in her eyes.

“What’s up baby?” I ask, and she smirks as she throws a leg on either side of me, sitting on my lap.

“I have some exciting news,” she says and I pinch my eyebrows in confusion.

“What is it?” I ask, curiously.

“I’m pregnant, Billy,” she says, and my heart nearly bursts out of my chest.

“What?” I ask, sitting up and smiling.

“I took a test this morning but I wanted to wait until after your fight to tell you so you wouldn’t be distracted,” she says. My beautiful wife, always so considerate.

“Oh, my god baby,” I say, with tears welling up in my eyes. “You’re pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant,” she repeats, with tears in her eyes too. We’ve been talking about having more kids recently. Leila had been bugging us for a sibling and we always wanted to have more kids. Now seemed like the perfect time.

I pull her against my chest and hold her all night. It makes me feel so incredibly happy, knowing our baby is growing inside of her, between us.

 

* * *

 

 

**FALL 2005. BILLY IS 25, MAUREEN IS 24, LEILA IS 7**

**Billy’s POV**

I am undefeated so far in this season. I feel like I am on top of the world. I have a successful career, more money than I know what to do with, an incredibly sexy and beautiful wife who is the strongest person I’ve ever known, and a beautiful daughter who looks more and more like her Mother with every passing day. To top it all off, I have a baby on the way. Maureen is nearly three months pregnant now, and I honestly feel like I couldn’t be happier.

I feel nostalgic for the time we spent in foster care when Maureen was pregnant. She suffers through morning sickness again, just like last time, and she gets nauseous when she smells raw meat. She’s incredibly adorable when she’s pregnant, always subconsciously rubbing her belly, even though it’s still flat.

We make love after my fight, she likes to be on top because she knows how exhausted I get from my fights (again, always so considerate). I’m curled up against her, as she falls asleep naked in my arms. The feeling of her warm bare skin pressed against mine is still the greatest sensation I’ve ever felt.

I wake hours later to the sound of Maureen panicking. She shakes my shoulder and says my name nervously, and I squint my eyes as she’s turning on the lamp on the bedside table. “What’s wrong?” I ask, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and trying to let my eyes adjust to the brightness of the light.

“Billy, I’m bleeding, oh god,” she says, and I look down and notice the pool of blood soaking in between her legs, in between us.

“Fuck,” I say, sitting up, more alert. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know,” she cries.

“Okay, I’m taking you to the hospital,” I say, trying not to panic. I call Gloria, our nanny and tell her I’m taking Maureen to the hospital and she says she’ll keep an eye on Leila. I drive faster to the hospital than I’ve ever driven, swerving in and out of traffic.

Maureen sobs in the passenger seat and I hold her hand and tell her it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.

My world comes to a stop when the doctor tells us she had a miscarriage.

“How did this happen?” I ask, my first impulse is to get angry.

“Sometimes these things just happen unfortunately,” the doctor says in a voice so calm it drives me insane.

“That’s not an answer!” I say, feeling anger bubbling inside my chest. I’m angrier at the world and the cruelty of it all.

“Billy, calm down,” Maureen says from the bed, her face blotchy and red from all the crying.

“This is such a fucking joke. Can’t we ever just be happy? Is that so much to ask for?” I scream, not at anyone in particular. Just at the universe, I guess.

“Sir please calm down,” the doctor says as I start pacing the room. I keep imagining the baby we could’ve had. The life we could’ve had with this baby. I’m absolutely gutted. And blinded with rage. I walk out into the hall and I feel like I could run a hundred miles. I don’t know what to do with all this rage. In a moment of stupidity, I reach back and punch the wall as hard as I can. My fist tears through the soft plaster, and I hear the doctor yell and run to my side.

“Billy!” Maureen screams.

“I’m sorry,” I say, pulling my swollen fist out of the dry wall, but my hands won’t stop shaking.

“Sir, you are going to need to pay for the damages, this is unacceptable,” the doctor says, staring at me with this wild look in his eyes.

“I don’t give a fuck about the god damn fucking money!” I scream, shoving the doctor against the wall. I pull my wallet out of my back pocket and pull a few hundred-dollar bills out and shove them in his face, literally. “Fucking eat it bitch,” I yell in his face and the hospital security grabs both of my arms, pulling me off the doctor forcefully.

The two security guys pin me to the floor and I wriggle under them, trying to escape. “Calm down sir or we will arrest you,” one of them says.

From the floor in the hall, I look past the security and into the hospital room and see Maureen curled up on the bed, with her head in her hands, sobbing. My heart flips in my chest and all the rage I had simmers down to nothing. I feel numb. I feel absolutely broken.

 

* * *

 

 

**MAUREEN’S POV**

That drive home from the hospital is painfully silent. We are both in total shock. We never expected this to happen. My heart feels like it’s splitting in two every time I imagine the baby we lost. Was it a boy or a girl? I imagine that it was a boy who would’ve looked exactly like his Father, and suffered from the same temper and love for boxing. My lips tremble as I cry again, thinking about the beautiful child we’ve lost.

I grab some ice from the freezer and aspirin and a water bottle and make my way upstairs. Once we are finally alone in our room, Billy stands in the doorway staring at me. “Get over here,” I say and he nervously walks towards the bed and sits down next to me. I press the ice against his swollen fist and hand him the aspirin and the water bottle.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice raspy and tired.

“I know,” I say, not looking up at him.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” he says. “You’re too good for me.”

“You’re only human Billy,” I say. “You just have a really bad temper sometimes and it gets you in trouble.”

“I know,” he says, and he tilts his head back and takes the pills I gave him. He looks at me and I stare back into his red eyes. “Why does this tragic bull shit have to happen to us? Haven’t we been through enough?” he asks, his lips trembling.

“I don’t know baby,” I say, flipping the bag of ice over and pressing it against his knuckles. “Bad things might happen to us sometimes, but we are not a sad story.”

“Our whole fucking life story is a tragedy,” he says.

“That’s not true,” I say. “We have each other, that is all that matters. Don’t forget that.”

“I know, Mo. As long as I have you I’m going to be okay.”

 

* * *

 

 

**February 2006. BILLY IS 26, MAUREEN IS 25, LEILA IS 7**

MAUREEN’s POV

Billy has lost his last three fights. He’s been off his game for months now, and I know it’s all because of the miscarriage. He’s been drinking a lot, hitting the alcohol harder than he ever has.

His trainers are getting frustrated with him because he keeps showing up at the gym hungover and he’s exhausted all the time. I know he has trouble sleeping at night, and so do I.

I reach for my belly instinctively all the time and rub it before I stop and remember there isn’t a baby there anymore. Billy notices sometimes when I rub my belly and then he looks away and can’t look me in the eye for a few minutes after. I know this is killing him more than he lets on. It’s killing me too.

 

* * *

 

   

**JUNE 2006. BILLY IS 26, MAUREEN IS 25, LEILA IS 8**

**BILLY’s POV**

My head is swirling as the alcohol pulses through my veins. Nothing has really felt the same since we lost the baby. I feel like the rug was pulled out from under our feet and we forgot how to stand. I feel like we just got tossed out into the sea and we don’t remember how to swim. I think about the baby every single day and it nearly kills me every time.

Instead of torturing myself with thoughts of our unborn child, I reach for the bottle of liquor and drown the thoughts out of my head. Maureen is worried about me, she says maybe we should talk to someone about what we’re going through. I don’t think therapy is going to help us with this. Nothing will bring our baby back.

I wake up in the middle of the night and feel the bed shaking ever so slightly. I nervously glance over my shoulder and see Maureen’s shoulders shaking as she sobs into her pillow. I turn my body toward her and wrap my arms around her, pulling her against me. “I’m sorry I woke you,” she whispers in between her gasps of air.

“It’s okay baby,” I say, whispering into her shoulder. “You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here,” I say, cradling her.

“Billy, your drinking is becoming a problem. You’re scaring me,” she says and my heart breaks a little.

“I’m sorry, Mo. I don’t know how to deal with all this sadness. I can’t take it,” I say.

“We need to get help Billy. I need you now more than ever,” she says, her body shaking as she cries through her words.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere,” I whisper against her shoulder. Her body relaxes into my arms, and I hold her body close throughout the night, promising to be better to her tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

 

**MARCH 2007. BILLY IS 27, MAUREEN IS 26, LEILA IS 8**

**MAUREEN’s POV**

Billy has gotten better. He isn’t drinking as much anymore and he’s started winning his fights again. I’m grateful that things are starting to feel normal again, and Billy is getting his energy and motivation back for boxing. I forced him to come with me to see a therapist once a few months ago, but it didn’t help either of us, and she started questioning things about our childhood neither of us felt like talking about and asking Billy where he gets his temper from. Let’s just say it didn’t go very well with the therapist and we never went back.

But Billy has gotten better without the help of a therapist. We promised each other that we would be strong for one another. I can count on him to be there for me when I need him most and he can count on me to be there for him to. Instead of letting this miscarriage drive us apart, it only made us grow closer, and I fall in love with him even more every day.

I finish tucking Leila into bed for the night and walk into our bedroom, handing Billy the aspirin and a water bottle, our normal routine after one of his fights. He thanks me and takes the pills, and I crawl on top of him, checking how deep the cuts are on his face.

“I’m fine, babe,” he mutters under his breath and sets the wattle bottle down on the night stand.

“That was a pretty bad fight,” I say, his left eye is nearly swollen shut.

“You win some, you lose some,” he says. I gently run my fingers over the swollen spot of his left eyelid and he winces.

“I’m worried about you baby,” I say.

“Well don’t be. I’m fine. I can take it,” he says, kissing my knuckles. “So, I’ve been thinking…” he starts, and I laugh.

“Uh oh,” I say and he smiles.

“I want to try making a baby again,” he says and my heart slams against my chest. I admit, it’s something I’ve been thinking about too.

“I don’t know Billy,” I start to say but he cuts me off.

“It’s been nearly two years since we lost the baby. Leila is going to be nine years old soon, I think it’ time we try again,” he says, and I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I didn’t realize how afraid I was at the idea of trying to have a baby again.

“Billy, it was really hard losing a baby. I don’t know if I could go through that again,” I say, tears spilling over my eyes.

“I know, but we’re not going to lose it this time,” he says, confidently.

“You don’t know that,” I say. “We don’t even know why it happened last time so I don’t know how to prevent it from happening again.”

“I know but shouldn’t we at least try?” he asks. “Don’t you want more kids eventually?”

“Eventually,” I say and he sighs. “Baby, I’m only twenty-six years old, we still have time. But I am not ready to try to have another baby yet.”

“Okay, you’re right,” he says.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“No, it’s okay. We will wait until you’re ready.”

 

* * *

 

 

**FALL 2007. BILLY IS 27, MAUREEN IS 26, LEILA IS 9**

**BILLY’s POV**

 

 I gently remove the blindfold from Maureen’s eyes and watch as she gasps and her hands fly to her mouth. “Oh my god Billy,” she says.

We are standing in the driveway of our new home, a mansion. I could finally afford it and I came by myself to see it and fell in love with it and I wanted to surprise Maureen. Her wide hazel eyes are flaring with excitement as she looks up at the mansion.

“Surprise,” I say, smiling as she flings herself into my arms, squealing.

“We can afford this place?” she asks and I laugh.

“Yes, we can afford this place.”

“Holy fuck,” she says and I take her hand in mine and lead her through the house. She pauses in every room to gasp and say it’s so beautiful. There are so many rooms and so many bathrooms, way too many for a family of three. But I’m hopeful for our future. I think within the next ten years we’ll have a family big enough to fill all the rooms in this house.

“Do you love it?” I ask.

“Is that a real question? Of course, I fucking love it,” she says. “I can’t believe our life sometimes, you know. How lucky we are.”

“Because we came from nothing,” I say, finishing her sentence. “Just a couple orphans living in the system.”

“And now this,” she says, using her hands to gesture to the new mansion we live in. “I’m so proud of us.”

“Me too,” I say and kiss her on the lips. We’re finding our way back. Back to the top of the world.

 

* * *

 

 

**JANUARY 2010. BILLY IS 30, MAUREEN IS 29, LEILA IS 12**

**BILLY’s POV**

We’re celebrating my 30th birthday, surrounded by friends and loved ones. Maureen is wearing a black, tight fitting dress and looking more grown up than ever. She takes my breath away, even after all these years.

We finally make it back to our house, our mansion, and I can’t take it anymore. I lift her into the air and carry her over my shoulder to our bedroom and she’s squealing and giggling, telling me to put her down.

I toss her onto our bed, and crawl on top of her, dipping my head to leave a trail of wet kisses down her neck. “That fucking dress kills me baby,” I say. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

“I know, that’s why I wore it for your birthday,” she says.

“So fucking considerate, my wife,” I says, kissing her on the mouth. “It’s a shame it’s going to be torn off.”

Maureen gasps and giggles as I roughly tug down the zipper on the back of her dress, and peel it off her skin. As soon as her tan flesh is exposed I run my fingers over her soft skin. My mouth collides with hers and our tongues battle for dominance. Even after all these years, it feels like the first time all over again as desire and need pulses through my body. She wraps her legs around my waist and I fumble with the zipper on my pants, pulling them down with urgency. “I want you so bad baby,” I moan in her ear and she nods her head in agreement, because she wants me just as badly.

I’m inside of her seconds later, and she’s moaning my name in my ear. I’m rocking my hips against her, whispering how much I love her as her fingernails dig into my back. It’s perfect bliss.

After we finish, I roll on my back and she rolls on top of me, resting her head on my chest. She looks up at me, her hazel eyes shining brightly. “Happy birthday Billy,” she says.

“Thank you, baby,” I say, kissing her forehead and still struggling to catch my breath.

“So, I’ve been thinking…” she says.

“Uh oh,” I say, and we both laugh, knowing that was the same response she gave me when I said that a few years back.

“I think I’m ready to try having a baby again,” she says and my heart slams against my rib cage.

My eyes widen with excitement. “What?” I ask.

“I think it’s time. I’m ready to try again,” she says, happiness shining in her eyes. “I think it’ll be better this time.”

“Thank God,” I say, rolling my head back. “I thought you weren’t ever going to be ready.”

“Well, I’m ready now,” she says, kissing the skin on my chest.

“Well, we should start trying right now,” I say, and she laughs as I flip her over, on to her back and start kissing her neck.

And we’re back. On top of the world.

 

* * *

 

 

**APRIL 2010. BILLY IS 30, MAUREEN IS 29, LEILA IS 12**

**BILLY’s POV**

Maureen and I have to go to a charity event for boxing. We’ve gone to this specific event a few times over the years, but this time they asked me to speak at the event tonight. I’m nervous about speaking in front of crowds, but Maureen assures me that it’s okay and that it’ for a good cause.

After I finish my speech, I take her out on the dance floor, and twirl her around, her black dress floating around her calves. “You look so beautiful in that dress,” I whisper against her hair as our bodies sway together on the dance floor.

“Thanks baby, I know how much you like me in black dresses,” she says, smiling.

“Yes,” I say, remembering that gorgeous dress she wore on my 30th birthday. “Remember what happened to the last black dress you wore? We should have a repeat of that tonight,” I say, teasing.

“I loved that dress,” she sticks out her bottom lip and pretends to be sad.

“That was such a great fucking night,” I say, sliding my hands down to her hips and pulling her closer.

“It was,” she says and gets this giddy, smitten look on her face. She bites her lip and her eyes shine so brightly.

“What’s up babe? You have a terrible poker face,” I tease.

“I’m pregnant,” she says, and the world fades away for a minute, and all I see is the light in her hazel eyes.

“What?” I ask, shocked, and we stop dancing as I hold her in my arms and stare at her in shock.

“I was going to wait to tell you after we got home, but I couldn’t wait, I’m too excited,” she says, speaking faster with her excitement.

“Oh my god, that’s so wonderful, baby. That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard,” I say, my heart screaming with joy. Another baby. We were finally going to have another baby.

 

* * *

 

 

**BILLY’s POV**

We are finally leaving the charity event, when this bitch fighter Miguel starts calling Maureen names. I’ve dealt with his shit talk for weeks and I’ve just about had enough of it. He can talk shit on me all he wants but the moment he talks shit on Maureen is the moment he’s taken it too far. Maureen yells at me to stop as I walk over to him and punch him in the face without hesitation, and he hits me back. I quickly recoil and hit him in the face again, then he shoves me and knocks me flat on my back. I’m struggling for a moment, under the weight of him before I flip him on his back and start beating his stupid fucking face. I flash back to that fucking cock sucker Michael from foster care who sexually assaulted Maureen and I take that anger out on Miguel. Men who call Maureen names need to be punished. I will not tolerate that shit for one minute.

I barely ever register the sound of a gun going off, and chaos erupts in the hall as people are screaming and running in every direction. My eyes search the crowd for Maureen and I don’t see her. My stomach feels like it flips upside down when I hear her scream from the opposite side of the room.

I rush over to her and I see that she’s holding her stomach, and her hand pulls away red, covered in blood. I drop to my knees beside her and asks her what happened as terror rips through me. She has this panicked look in her eyes because she knows this loss of blood will probably kill the baby, if it didn’t already.

“Am I okay?” she asks repeatedly and my head is spinning and I feel like I’m going to throw up.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” I spit the words out, not sure if I’m trying to convince her or myself.

I lie her down because I don’t know what to do and I scream at the people standing around, staring in horror, to call 911.

“I want to go home,” she says, over and over.

“It’s okay, we’re going to go home,” I say even though we both know we aren’t going anywhere. We both keep speaking over each other, trying to tell each other everything is going to be fine when we both know it won’t be.

Her eyes start rolling to the back of her head, and I jerk her head up and tell her to look me in the eyes, but I know she’s slipping. My hands are soaked in her blood, and my heart is beating so fast, my body is trembling. I keep repeating: “It’s not that bad, baby. It’ not _that bad_ ,” trying to convince her and myself that everything will be okay.

She starts choking on her own blood and she gets this fearful look in her eyes, like she knows this is the end. She starts whispering “ _it’s okay_ ” and “ _I love you_ ” and she’s crying and I’m crying and all I can think is: no, no, no, _no_. This can’t be happening to me, to us.

“Leila, Leila,” Maureen keeps saying her name over and over, like it’s the last time she’ll ever say it. And I know we’re both thinking about the baby inside of her right now, too.

I feel her body start to go lifeless in my arms and she stops speaking, her eyes rolling to the back of her head.

“Baby, wait. No baby, please wait,” I say over and over, my arms shaking her, desperate to bring her back to life.

I make the sound of a dying animal when I realize she’s dead. She no longer has a heartbeat and her beautiful hazel eyes stare blankly into the distance. I watch helplessly as Maureen, and my unborn baby die in my arms.

My body is still trembling when the paramedics finally get there, and they have to forcefully remove me from her body. The moment she leaves my arms, I choke on my tears and fall to the floor, unable to comprehend the amount of sadness flooding through me.

My Mo, my wife, my hope, the mother of my child, my fucking _everything_ is gone.

My story began and ended with her. If I thought my life was a tragedy before I met her, it’s nothing compared to the tragedy my life is now. I feel a gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to beat for her.

I’m terrified. I’m numb. I’m broken.

Because I know a life without Maureen isn’t a life at all.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's the end. I cried while writing this part, a lot. It makes me so incredibly sad, knowing this is where Billy & Maureen's story comes to a tragic end. I really enjoyed writing this. It's some of my most proud work yet honestly. I hope you enjoy this. Sorry some things aren't 100% accurate to the movie (like the year she dies) but I tried hard to make everything else accurate. Please leave a comment or a kudos if you read, I would really appreciate it!

**Author's Note:**

> Here is part one. I am in love with this story I wrote. Hope you enjoy this! Please leave a kudos and a comment, I really appreciate it!


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